The Paradox Of Men

If you can't go down on them, you're not a good partner.
If you can go down on them, they are jealous that someone taught you how.

If they pay for dinner, you are using them.
If you pay for dinner, you are trying to embarrass them.

If you make less money than them, you have to do all of the housework.
If you make more money than them, you are a ball-breaker and still have to
   do all of the housework.

If they want sex, they won't let you sleep.
If you want sex, they won't wake up.

If you choose an article of clothing that they don't like, you don't care
   about their taste.
If you ask them for help in choosing an article of clothing they do like,
   they tell you to dress however you want.

If you are polite and friendly to their friends, they want to know why you
   are coming on to their friends.
If you are distant and reserved to their friends, they want to know why you
   don't like their friends.